Featured, Rebuilding Marriage

Goodbye Readers

Dear Readers, I started this account a year ago. I never expected it to become what it did and I love the messages I get saying it's helped you that I laid bare the pain that I had. The pain you understood. The pain you felt. Writing over the past year has been a kind… Continue reading Goodbye Readers

discovery, The Affair

One Year Ago

Dear Husband, A year ago today I started writing. The devastation of your betrayal weighing heavily on me as my once safe world fell apart around me. I sat in our bed, the same bed upon which I sat as your betrayal became obvious to me, drinking rum from the bottle to try and numb… Continue reading One Year Ago

Coping with shame is key to your health in recovery from infidelity
Resources, Unfaithful spouse

Help for the Unfaithful: Coping with shame

I'm just going to say it. Shame is omnipresent in response to and in recovery from infidelity. It's unavoidable. It's unavoidable for the betrayed spouse and it's unavoidable for the unfaithful spouse. Learning. Coping with shame is difficult but it's also transformative. I'd like to share with you I've learned how to improve my coping… Continue reading Help for the Unfaithful: Coping with shame

How to help your spouse talk about their affair
Disclosure, Featured, Resources, The Affair, Unfaithful spouse

Help for the betrayed: How to help your spouse talk about their affair

"How do I get my partner to talk about their affair?" is one of the most common questions I've read from betrayed spouses on our Instragram page. My wife has certainly banged her head against the wall asking that very question. I'm going to take this opportunity to share some insight on how to help… Continue reading Help for the betrayed: How to help your spouse talk about their affair

Talking about the affair will transform your recovery
Disclosure, Featured, Resources, The Affair, Unfaithful spouse

Help for the unfaithful: Talking about the affair

I'm an unfaithful spouse. I empathise that talking about your affair is horrendously difficult. However, I also know that talking about the affair has been transformative to my wife and I's recovery. My wife's already written some excellent words about disclosure here (see this link). I believe there's more on the way. I'm going to… Continue reading Help for the unfaithful: Talking about the affair

Limerence will harm your recovery. Turn around and put it behind you in the past
affair partner, Resources, The Affair, Unfaithful spouse

Limerence and affairs are a toxic cocktail

Today's post is about limerence and affairs. Like most (if not all) unfaithful spouses, I experienced limerence during my affair. Similarly, I expect most (if not all) unfaithful spouses, like me, experienced limerence during the end of our affair. Let me assure you: limerence and affairs are a toxic cocktail and they¬†will harm your recovery.… Continue reading Limerence and affairs are a toxic cocktail